Experiencing heartbreak during Valentine’s Day can cut deeply, it may be something you remember for years later. The red roses, always in deep red, the expensive chocolates, and the endless choice in cards and fluffy toys. That’s just the start. Start planning today to avoid the blues!

”The course of true love never did run smooth” – William Shakespeare

Experiencing heartbreak during Valentine’s Day can cut deeply, it may be something you remember for years later. The red roses, always in deep red, the expensive chocolates, and the endless choice in cards and fluffy toys. That’s just the start. Looking amazing, and smelling beautiful on Valentine’s Day can crush you on the 14th February if you don’t have someone’s hand to hold, or even worse if you’ve got a black bow tied heart, bursting with pain and heartbreak. I don’t know why she’s wearing black mascara, that’s the look that ‘encapsulates heartbreak’, but I suppose Valentine’s Day is a day ‘for him’ to make amends, for a few slights that year. The knives in a heartbroken girls stomach just cut deeper. So how do you get through the ‘heartbreak’ on Valentine’s Day? With an average of 145 million cards sent within the UK each Valentine’s Day, and over one billion cards sent globally each year, it is only just topped by Christmas Day, which is again ‘double’ the amount. It’s hard to avoid, and extremely embarrassing, and ‘sulking’ about the romantic affair, just makes things worse. The smell of roses for countless women just means tears, and silent tantrums, ones which won’t be indulged by anyone, unless you are a ‘Valentine’s Day’ girl, spoilt with a thousand presents she doesn’t want. So how do you get through, if this year turmoil, heartbreak, emptiness and thoughts of ‘self-harm’ are you’re only companion for the day? What do you do if you ‘just can’t get him off you’re mind’, when he’s no longer yours, or even worse someone else’s? 'No Valentine’s day’, is a real problem. There is no real categorization for the problem many women face each year, as the situation isn’t tangible or easy to describe unless there’s some ‘real trouble’, such as a sequence of arrests, or admittance to A&E, something medical or criminal. Valentine’s Day arrests too, are about people in stable relationships, and not the ones missing out, with criminal ‘couples being placed in handcuff’s’ as they enjoyed their Valentine’s Day meal. Even Al Capone understood the importance of Valentine’s Day, using a staged massacre to ‘make his people’ understand, as the celebrations and gimmicks took centre stage, during the earlier parts of the last century. The Valentine’s Day massacre was a criminal stunt to stamp that the ‘mafia is serious’. What better way than Valentine’s Day? Even serious sulking is for ‘happy couples’ with crimes of passion needing ‘two to tango’ on most days, ringing true on Valentine’s Day too. Stats show that infidelity gets exposed most during the Valentine’s Day period, when lame ‘it’s me not you texts’, just create suspicion and paranoia, leading to partners rooting out ‘what is what’, pushing more boundaries than usual to find out why they feel ‘unloved’ and not ‘cherished’ enough. This again can embroil feelings of passion and love into ‘revenge attacks’ which can involve crime or other ‘infidelities’, which again lead to crimes to upset their partners. Again another tête-à-tête, which is blown out of proportion on Valentine’s Day, as is the case each year. No room for spinsters or the heartbroken then, better to ‘just join them’ and go window shopping, and prepare and anticipate for the day you get your own ‘prospects’ for your own love life one day, and maybe a Valentine’s Day card.

So how can you get through a broken heart on Valentine’s Day?

1. Throw yourself into your career – there’s nothing worse than the feeling of having no love life, a broken heart or experiencing a break-up. Most of the time, let’s face it, nothing can take your mind off things, or make you feel better. A rewarding career, or sense of purpose, or some charity work you really enjoy can however steer you in the right direction, for a short while.

2. Listen to your favourite music – it can bring out more memories or deep rooted feelings, but it can also heal.

3. Watch a ‘Chick Flick’ – Again, it can be as cathartic as you want. Depending on how much time you spend dwelling on the ‘perfect ice-cream’ flavour, and which syrup would suit? Sounds like a fatty? Well, being fussy about what you eat is important when ‘heartbroken’, and indulging yourself is exactly what you need. Remember, most of your happiness depends on yourself, and our own efforts, and you can’t blame others for how miserable you may feel. Your choice ‘flick’ is important too, it reminds you how you feel, is a signal to the brain that your female side needs some consideration, answers, advice and careful attention at some point. It also helps you connect with how you feel, and your deepest wishes as a woman which may be a wish for romance, attention, emotional connection or something to think about. Whatever it is, movie makers understand this, so give it a try, even if you have more than a million times.

4. Change your image – Try a pixie crop, or dye your hair. Changing your appearance means a change in people’s perceptions of you and how they see you, judge and analyse you, even on first impressions. This could be a breath of fresh air for a few days, especially during Valentine’s Day, where a new door can open to new possibilities with new men, who are attracted to different type of women.

5. Go to the gym – Working out can really stave off the blues. A good workout can clear your mind, help you feel fresher, give you more energy and improve your mood. It can also help you clarify what is bothering you, and as your body feels stronger, you should understand you may be able to read your intuition with more sense. Maybe the heartbreak is covering up a ‘bad feeling’ in the pit of your stomach, and some time in the gym can clear up some of the clouds.

6. Arrange a date yourself – get proactive and use a dating site, visit some friends or go on a dating event which can help you meet people. You can even arrange you’re own party, and invite similar people.

7. Send someone a Valentine’s Day card – if the worse comes to the worst, send someone a Valentine’s Day card, to keep your mind off being single, divorced or someone experiencing a break-up. Be someone’s secret admirer, or help someone else get together helps heal deep pain, as mulling over bad feelings and sentiments can catapult you onto a vicious circle, which can simply make you feel worse right at the end. Being someone’s secret admirer for Valentine’s Day means you can be included in all the fun too, you never know he might be interested.

8. Visit a comedy club – the rush and excitement of seeing so many people will exhilarate you, and although there may be many couple’s out that night, you can still enjoy yourself through live comedy. Getting dressed up and going out on the town, will help you feel better, and laughing staves off deep feelings of love and despondency.

9. Read a love story – Reading a love story like Cinderella, can help keep away the blues. The story sees a character go through trials and tribulations, and is vindicated in the end. It keep your spirits up and help you cling on to the moral of the story, that everyone deserves a happy ending, and that staying true to your good side is worth it. Even making a wish for a great love story is better than getting too wrapped up in a situation which is tricky to change.

10. Visit the theatre. Again like visiting a comedy club, the crowds can lift your mood and excitement, as well as what you go to see. Ballet and Opera can take your mind off nearly anything, and other shows are ‘mood lifters’ too.

Despite years of awareness, it seems that ‘date rape’ is still being silenced, somehow, with statistics showing that more and more Women are refraining from reporting such incidents of ‘rape’ to the police. Charging and convictions are also, at an all-time low. According to charity ‘Rape Crisis’ out of a total of 100 rape incidents, only 1% of victim’s came forward. Out of every six women, asked to report rape, at least five women, out of six, fail to report rape to the police. The results of a yougov survey of the British public in 2022, found that out of every ten women, only 1% reported any 'incidents of experiencing their drinks being spiked', and 40% of the UK believe that the police would not believe them if they reported a ‘drink spiking’ scenario to the police.  Drink spiking can be counted as something associated with ‘date rape’ or ‘dating violence’, an assertion backed by the recent government survey of 2023, titled ‘Understand and Tackling Spiking’ conducted by The Home Office. Essentially, ‘spiking’ is when ‘someone has added something to your drink’ without your consent or permission. In some cases, specific ‘date rape drugs’ might be used to spike a drink before rape or sexual assault. Spiking someone’s drink is classed as something illegal, even if the victim is not attacked or assaulted. Date Rape drugs are almost invisible, with many victims claiming that they cannot taste or smell anything that would indicate that their drink has been tampered with something ‘date rape’ related. The victim is said to feel weak, confused and can lose their memory, and find it hard to sometimes describe how they feel after an incident, which could be crucial to getting help, or letting people know that they may be in danger.  Drink spiking is not a new crime either, which makes you think about norms, standards and practices for many cultures, and for many centuries too. Curare, an ancient form of Amazonian poison is a 'dangerous' and lethal drug or poison, said to be used by hunters in their blow darts. It is said to leave victims completely paralysed, and unable to breathe. The drug is described as a neuro-transmitter drug, which mean it essentially blocks breathing, and works slowly to paralyse the body, blocking neuro-muscular activity within the body. This means it has a close relationship with the foundations of what can and can’t paralyse you. With a varying degree of expertise, Curare can successfully leave you unable to move if the concoction of drug, hits the spot. It begins its nightmare by paralysing the vocal cords, and then the tubes that help you breathe, meaning you can’t scream for help, or may find it hard to talk, before your breathing begins to leave you, and you become breathless. It then turns all Musculo-skeletal and relaxes muscles to such a degree that you can’t move or run. You may feel paralysed and need to sleep for years after an attack. It seems, it is a poison that has been used and known of for centuries. One of it’s earliest records, was with the expeditions of Sir Walter Raleigh. Edward Bancroft, a physician and chemist bought samples of crude curare to test, from 16th Century South America.  Observational work, with Sir Benjamin Brodie too, concluded that curare can stop animals from breathing, and could paralyse the respiratory system, and muscles. Since 1943, the substance has been used widely within medicine as a neuro-muscular blocking drug, used with anaesthetic during surgery. There are very little in depth reports or studies into drink spiking, which keeps the issue hidden. Lack of detail and depth into the issue, means that it is hard to classify and categorise anything, and the onus lies with an ‘expert’.  In December last year, research conducted by the NSPCC looked into the matter. Their statistics showed that most ‘drink spiking’ problems affected women more than males. They also found at least 74% of women were in this category, and that drink spiking was common to a specific age, which was 26 year old women, which was quite alarming. Most drink spiking problems were found to be in bars, nightclubs or other pubs, but most notable was that nightclubs or bars, with lower standards such as cheaper entry, and cheap drinks, were much more at risk. Bars were more at risk of drink spiking problems than nightclubs too. Further to this, some examples of drink spiking could be found in other residential areas such as private house parties., where groups of friends gather to party. According to the same report, ‘The proportion of offences in nightclubs which featured spiking via needle was higher (38%) compared to drink spiking (17%) indicating offenders may be taking advantage of more crowded and loud venues to facilitate needle spiking offending’. The most interesting information, was of these incidences being more common in hugely crowded areas.  At the moment, levels of prosecution for drink spiking is low. In the same report, :’Results from the Police's rapid urine screening capability shows that in those cases where a urine sample has been taken, 5% of those suggest that spiking has occurred – though the drugs being used tend to be those more associated with the night-time economy, rather than traditional ‘date-rape’ drugs. The majority (53%) of samples tested contained a drug of no concern or no drug at all. However, these tests cannot identify whether someone has been spiked with additional alcohol, and if a victim does not feel confident to report straight away. This could be because it could be, that the drugs used, have left their system at the point they are tested’.  At this point, it seems suspicious that the police fail to use online rape tests to check why a victim fails to report a problem like this, and also the victim’s health, as the adverse reaction to being spiked may still be in their system.  There is good news, however, as more funds are being spent on areas to help tackle street crime, especially for women. Investment of over £120 million is being spent within this area, which means better services, additional safe keeping such as more installation of CCTV cameras. With this in mind, better access to public services should be key, for all victims, men and women.

What is the hidden mystique? Why are people so hypnotized? It’s no secret that everybody loves a great perfume advert. The distinction in taste, the visual imagery and the intoxicating feeling you get after watching a short advert lasting perhaps for only a few seconds to a minute. Many people compare the feeling of watching a great perfume advert as the same of falling in love or driving a fast sports car as fast as you like, and at your own heart’s desire, free from the chains of life for a short space in time. This is especially true after experiencing Le Parfum by Ellie Saab, and the skillful genius of what they call the Director’s cut. Simply mesmerising! Like Cinderella leaving the ball at midnight. Who could forget the first time you saw the Mon Paris advert or of course Eternity and the sequence of adverts which followed from Calvin Klein catapulting them onto the scene in a way you could never dream of again. The simple imagery, the simple logo, and an ocean of possibilities and meanings in the mind’s eye. The Eternity advert was minimalism in a nutshell, one which grew into further branches, and created a new sub-culture which is still part of people’s lives even today. After a debauched decade of over-spending, credit cards, ostentatious attire and clothing,  ‘living for the moment', and whatever it was, ‘just take it’ that was the attitude to life. Then, of course there was a change of tides, as the bare faced Kate Moss arrived on the scene within an advert called Eternity by Calvin Klein. The mood was grey skies, big bundling white cotton clouds and an expansive and deep Ocean, washing away the mistakes of the previous decade and clearing the air for a new path – one which still hasn’t died. The words waif, anorexic, and clear mascara were in, and people began to breath fresh air again, ditching vol au vents breakfasts for some clean water and dieting. People asked what was the secret? Capricorn, goats, Kate Moss and clear nail varnish were more than important, aswell as the infamous CK shopping bag, which everybody wanted. A new cultured society formed, which realized less is more, and ‘no make-up’ would be their future ‘truths’.  Spellbound, people began to remove the pink eyeshadow from their beauty cupboards and ditched the expensive perm, an opted for the dream within the dream, and wanted to secretly re-live the few moments of ‘bliss’ experienced through the ‘Eternity’ advert. It was as big as Elvis, MTV, and the ipod. So why are perfume adverts so mesmerizing? It would probably be the effort and care put into the adverts, which represent and symbolize modern luxury and the materialism on offer at the time, the things money can buy. The perfect images, and perfect faces too, create an unmistakable memory within people’s minds, one which turns into spending habits, established choices in consumerism and much, much more. Deep down perfume adverts are as mesmerizing as the perfume itself, and the only limit is the viewers imagination, and the Director’s cut according to his or her own secret garden.  So how do you say Dior? Perhaps we can take a look at some other types of 'grand adverts', and look at beauty products too?